Wednesday, October 23, 2019

Email FAIL

I recently read a Buzzfeed acticle that had me LOLing.

"19 Emails I Can't Believe Students and Professors Actually Sent Each Other."

Let's make that number an even 20.

My junior year of college I was taking a psychology course. We had an assignment to write a paper using the knowledge we learned in class and apply it to the work place. I found a great article that I was super stoked to use as my reference. Couldn't wait to send it to my professor.

I was confused by his response. "Am I missing something from this article?" Oh, did I mention that I was also on Facebook at the time? Nope? Well this is the "article" I ACTUALLY sent to my professor. 

A lookbook of over 90 styles by Ariana Grande. AND my phone screen was broken so I couldn't even email him back until the next day. So my professor assumed that all I learned in class was how perfect Ariana Grande is. 


Til next time, 


Thursday, October 17, 2019

Dear Taylor, Love Me

Dear Taylor,

I can't believe it's time to purchase tickets for your Lover Tour. Your albums and concerts are a form of therapy to me, and seeing Lover live seems almost too good to be true.

Each album release perfectly aligned with milstones in my life. As you grew, so did I.  

I'll never forget the first time I heard "Tim McGraw." I was hopeless-romantic-naive twelve year old girl with fantasies of love, heartbreak, and making those memories of my own. I was babysitting when the music video realeased. I sat there and cried, not even knowing who you were yet, but so mesmerized by your honest lyricism. I felt every word you sang, even though I hadn't experienced anything close to heartbreak yet in my life. I knew from that moment on that your music spoke to me. I couldn't wait to hear more. 

When Fearless came out, I was just starting high school.  This new and exciting chapter was ahead of me, and I listened to this album every morning while getting ready for school. I was finally experiencing the lyrics you sang about. I was fifteen with all these new, exciting ideas filling my head. That year I learned a lot, and "White Horse" helped me through my very first heartbreak. 

Two years later, Speak Now came into my life. I was no longer that naive little girl, but a sassy teenager who would blast "Better Than Revenge" on every car ride.  You showed me that it's okay to speak (and sing) what's on your mind. I was coming into my own, just like you were. 

I had just begun my college career when Red was released. I watched the leaves change on my campus while I listened to you sing about them. I was trying to find myself and never related to a lyric more than your "All Too Well" lyric "...I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it." I was struggling with romance, but so were you so I did not feel so alone. I balled my eyes out at this concert. 

As I entered my junior year of college, 1989 came out. You were trying something different while still being true to yourself, and I could relate to that. I was experimenting with my acting and didn't want to do what was always expected of me. I was thinking of my future career more and more every day, and "Welcome to New York" made me excited as ever to move there. I devoutedly listened to that album all year. With my end of my longest and most serious relationship, "Clean" became my anthem. I had lost my my first true love, but was finding myself.

Your Reputation album couldn't have come at a better time. I was under a lot of pressure my last two years of college, and I left there feeling ruined. My repuation was tarnished from endless gossip, rumors, and misunderstandings. I was angry and vengeful. I wanted to act out against those who hurt me, but instead I screamed the lyrics of "Look What You Made Me Do" and let that be my catharsis. Seeing you fight back against haters gave confidence again. I felt like my old self was also dead, and took that time to work harder to get closer to my goals. The concert was an unforgettable experience. 

And then came Lover. Ah sweet Lover.  By the time this album came out, I was back to my old self. My anger had disipated, and like you, I felt like I found "Daylight." The harm that others had caused me became a distant memory ("I Forgot That You Existed"). I finally made that move to New York City and began a new life with my own lover. He understands me and loves me-flaws and all. I never knew a love like this could exisit, but you were right- it is golden. 

So thank you, Taylor, for giving me the gift of your music. Your words and stories have paralled my life and made me feel like someone understands. You continue to inspire me everyday. I pray that you see this one day. I want you to know how much I apprecite you and your music. Continue making your magic.

I can't wait to see you again, let's hope I get the tickets today!

Much love, 

Natalie Marie Walsh 

Thursday, October 10, 2019

World Mental Health Day

I would like to start this post with "Happy World Mental Health Day!" but I know mental health is not always happy. I am happy that this day exists, though. We as a society need to be reminded of the importance of mental health. With 1 in 4 people on this earth suffering, we need to talk about it more. 

There is so much that I want to say on this topic, but I don't know where to start. I've been battling mental health issues since I was 11 years old. I was a relatively "happy" kid on the outside, but deep down I had dark thoughts. Thoughts of ending my own life. Why? I don't know. I couldn't control them. I would go from playing outside with my friends to fantasizing about drowning in the bathtub. I would experience terrible aniexty that I would just explain as "stomach aches." I grew up with loving family and friends, but even so I still felt alone. 

I didn't tell anyone about these thoughts until I was 18 years old. Seven whole years I suffered in silence. Why? Because I was ashamed. I didn't think anyone else in the whole world could feel how I was feeling. Of course, I was wrong. Depression and anxiety creep into millions of people's lives, and a lot of them hide it like I did. 

Why was I depressed? I still don't know exactly. Sometimes it's caused by life events and other times it is just the genes you are born with. 

So what did I do once I figured out it was depression? I sought help. Councelors, doctors, friends, and family.  Did it go away? Hell no. But it did get better. I realized that I was not alone in this battle. I didn't have to hide anymore. And that realization probably saved my life. 

So here I am, at age 26, still living with a mental health disorder. I take medications that lessen my symtpons, and I am not ashamed of that. There will be bad days, but I know the good ones shine brighter. I understand it is a journey. My journey. 

So why am I sharing this? In hopes that someone out there reading will share their journey as well. Mental health should never be ignored or pushed aside. If we talk about it, people will listen. 

Til next time, 


Thursday, October 3, 2019

Helpful Hobbies

Well I survived. I was nervous, but I did it. The morning after my last post, I went to the park with my boxing team for a workout. So, I got my human interaction and something more important.

It led to me boxing everyday that week. I was still a little lonely, but a lot less. Doing something physical completely shifted my focus. I was no longer consumed by my thoughts. And when it was time for bed, I was so physically exhausted that I just passed out without the help of my dear friend melatonin.

I'm learning a valuable lesson: the importance of having a hobbie. One besides reading and binge watching Netflix. And also a hobbie that's not directly related to my career path. As much as I love my day job and acting, I sometimes need an escape. I am the kind of person who overworks, and when I'm done it feels like there is nothing left. Well now there is. There's boxing. Something I can focus on while I'm there and practice in my free time.

It's helping tremendously with my anxiety as well. The workout is both physically and mentally intense. It's a learning process. I feel my body and mind getting stronger. Insecurity plays such a big part of my anxiety, but as my confidence in boxing grows, so does my confidence in everyday life.

For those of you out there looking for an escape too, I highly recomend taking up a physical hobbie. Dance, yoga, boxing, volleyball, running- anything. Especially that sport you always thought of trying, but was intimidated by. If it can help crazy ole me, it will certainly help you.

Til next time,