Sunday, August 5, 2018

The Life of a Millennial: An Epic Poem

You buy stuff for you your bestie. She venmo's you.  You use your debit card.

You both go to the bar. Cash only. Neither of you have cash so you go to the ATM.

There's a $2.50 surcharge. 

You take out $20. 

You buy your friend and her cousin drinks and two extra. 


Then you realize you only have $2.00 left. It's  not even midnight. 

Your friend forgot her debit card so you have to go back to the ATM. 

Another surcharge. Take out $40 just to be safe, and then wait for cash.

The receipt comes out, but no cash. You start freaking out and yelling, "Where did my money go?!" You start asking for having. People whip out there phones and crawling on the bar ground to help.

Opens receipt. "Error. Insufficient funds."

"You have an account balance of $16.50."

Casually run away and pretend that didn't happen.

Find friend. Dig through purses in hopes of extra money. We find two crumpled up $1. We can get one drink.

We drink our singular drink with triumphant smiles. 

And that my friend, is just another day in the life.

Til next time, 


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