Monday, February 12, 2018

There and Back Again

Ah New York, how I dreamed of you for years. And I finally made it to you.

Unfortunately that dream was cut short.

Last time I wrote here, I was sitting in my little studio apartment, drinking coffee, and staring out into the city I felt blessed to call home. Now, I sit in my cozy twin bed in PA, drinking tea, and staring out into a more green scenery- equally as lucky to call home.

It all happened so fast. One moment I was refilling my metro card, and the next I was on a Martz Bus to Scranton. Life throws a lot of shit at you, and sometimes you just don't have enough hands. Do I feel like I lost? Yeah. But does that mean I did? No. I had these delusions of grandeur that moving to New York City was the answer to everything. It may have filled in some blanks, but it wasn't the magical cheat-cheat I was expecting. Unfortunately, I don't have all answers, I never will, and there is no way of knowing which ones are the right ones.

Life, am I right?

But I am breathing. Confused and scared, but breathing. My journey was short, but I did learn. I worked my butt off, struggled, and still had the time of my life. I never thought I'd say this, but I already miss the subway system- delays and all. I forgot how annoying driving is and cars, plus maintenance, are dumb expensive. I miss being able to walk through Times Square after work and sitting under the George Washington Bridge on a sunny day. Mark my words I will be back, New York, but I need to take care of myself first. Figure out what I actually want. Who knows what is next, I definitely don't, but getting this off my chest was a start.

So Dunmore, PA, I am back- for now. Let's see what this chapter has in store.

Til next time,

Nat