It's almost the weekend, but this bipolar weather has me feeling a little down. If you are feeling the same way, here are some embarrassing, awkwardly funny scenarios that have taken place in my life. Enjoy boys and girls.
1. Wrong Room
I once walked into the exam room of a newlywed couple finding out the sex of the first baby with a very full cup of dehydrated urine. "Oops! Wrong room- but hey congrats!!" I will always be a part of one of their most cherished moments in their relationship.
2. Creepy Sexy?
At the bar the other night this scary elderly kept hitting on me. I kept my cool until he said, "Wanna come home with me?.. I got bears in the back yard." As inviting as that sounds, I was not very keen on the thought of being tied up and taken advantaged of this man and then being fed to his bears. Did I mention he had no teeth?
3. Ben & Jerry's Bath
My boyfriend reached over to grab a water bottle from my beside table, but instead grabbed a still open carton of melted Ben & Jerry's ice cream. Both of us were instantly showered in PB cup ice cream. Took a while to get that scent out of my hair. Still confused as to how he could mistake the two...
4. Tale of Two Birds
This one is a Teej original. Mailman Teej was making his appointed rounds one day when he disturbed a nest of baby robins. A little guy was so startled he pooped on my dad's head. Taken aback, my father looked up screaming and then the baby bird pooped in this mouth. Running away trying to spit it out, he was then harassed and chased by angry mama bird pecking at his scalp. Bad day. Ps. he said the shit was very warm.
5. Careful What You Google
My sister, dad, and I were shopping were out shopping and my sister was trying to convince me to buy Dickies ( fake button down collars/turtlenecks to wear under my shirts and sweaters) for work. "Wait let me just show you!!" She proceeded to Google Image search "Black Dickies" on her phone. The results... let's just say the three of us will never be the same.
Hope at least one of these made you smile. Happy Thursday!!
Til next time,